Hey family and friends!
I know so many of you have been so curious as to why we were in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania this weekend (thank you for your patience on us getting back to you). We are here to answer your questions and I am going to just come right out and say it because there really is no other way!
I am going to be a gestational surrogate! SURPRISE!
Some of you may not know what this is or may have a different understanding of what this is so here is the definition:
Gestational carrier: Also known as gestational surrogate. A woman who carries a pregnancy and gives birth to a child for another woman or couple. For a woman to serve as a gestational carrier, an embryo (created by the process of in vitro fertilization) is implanted in her uterus.
One question I have gotten so far is: “Will the baby be related to you?”
Answer: No, the baby will not have any of my DNA. It is completely and 100% the intended parents DNA and embryo that they have created and frozen already (about a month and a half ago to be exact).
Why, you ask?
After we found out we were having a girl (Brooklyn) we knew we were going to be done having our own children after she was born, so we made the decision to have my tubes tied during my C-Section with Brooklyn. We knew that we only wanted one boy and one girl and I am still so happy with the decision Ryan and I made together. Landon and Brooklyn have brought more joy and meaning to our lives then we ever could have imagined.
So, later on in life I started hearing more about people who couldn’t have children and it literally made me cry each time I heard about it. I cried because I cannot imagine being told I could never have a baby to raise and call my own. Especially now as our kids get older. From watching them achieve so many goals, learning how to read, write, play baseball, sing, dance… all of it. Everything our kids have done in life has given my life more meaning and fulfillment. When I had Landon, I remember not being able to hold him for the first time for a week after he was born because he was in the NICU. During my pregnancy I knew I loved him but when I held him for the first time and looked into his tiny, squinting eyes I had a love for him that I never knew was possible. I didn’t know that there was a love so deep or so strong. This love is a love that I can’t even explain because it is out of this world. It is the most incredible and amazing feeling I have ever had the pleasure of feeling. A couple years later, I was able to add more of this indescribable love to my life with Brooklyn. I honestly don’t know how anyone could ever live without this kind of love in their life. For that reason, it crushes my heart to know that there are people out there who don’t have the opportunity or same blessing that I have been given with Landon and Brooklyn.
Knowing that Ryan and I don’t want anymore children of our own, we knew we wanted to help a family that couldn’t have children of their own. In May I started doing a lot of research and I knew right then and there I wanted to become a gestational surrogate. I prepared so much information to show Ryan when he got home from work. I sat Ryan down on the couch and I wasn’t sure how to tell Ryan I wanted to do this but I knew in my heart he would be on board because that is the kind of person he is. After I told Ryan what I wanted to do, of course he had a million and one questions. Not because he wasn’t on board but because Ryan is my voice of reason sometimes just like I am with him. He wanted to make sure I had thoroughly thought through every outcome and every tiny, little detail. It was very important to me that Ryan was on board because of course he would be my biggest support system through the process and this would have an effect on him as well.
When Ryan and I had come to the agreement we started doing A LOT MORE research and A LOT of soul searching. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I honestly felt a calling to do this. Just a little thought: surrogacy has been happening since way back in the day but back then in some cases the man literally had to send his wife in to have sex with another man or vise versa depending on who wasn’t fertile. Honestly, I don’t think I could have done it that way and I am so thankful for modern technology and medicine! Can you imagine me saying to Ryan, “Hunny, I need to go have sex with this man because his wife can’t have a baby.” OR “Hunny, can you please go have sex with this woman who’s husband is infertile?” Yeah, no thank you! But for those who are curious, it will be the intended mom’s egg and the intended father’s sperm. They have already made TWO embryo’s and they are frozen and waiting for me. Yes, that is correct! The intended parents, who I will be referring to as IP’s from now on, would like twins! Nerve wracking for me but so cool! I am so intrigued by all of this and I think IVF and embryos and pretty much EVERYTHING we have learned about is so amazing! Also, when the time comes, I will explain more about the transfer of the embryos just like I will do with every other step we take on this journey.
Who are the intended parents you ask? Well, they have asked for their information to be private and I will respect that. Also, to be straight forward, this is about my journey and their journey is not for me to share.
Do Landon and Brooklyn know? Landon and Brooklyn are literally the most caring and thoughtful children in this world. We have no doubt in our minds that they will understand. In case they have a few questions or may need visuals we have ordered a few books that are meant for children to understand more.
I have also been asked, “How will you give up a baby?” Well my friends and family, this baby is not mine to give up.
I know there will be some concerns from some about my safety and health and I have been cleared by my OB/GYN, by a fertility specialist and many other people. Which is why we were in Philly this weekend.
So, yes! I will be healthy, safe and happy! Ryan will be supportive and understanding and has already done so much for me along the process so far. The kids are anxious and excited and Ryan and I know in our hearts that the kids will be so proud to be a part of this. We have told a few family members and some close friends who have been nothing but supportive, we have also had a few that have had some concerns and that is completely ok! We are fully prepared for those who don’t support us and for those that do, we are so blessed to have you all by our sides throughout this amazing and wonderful journey. I have even found a small group of ladies that are also surrogates and it has been so wonderful to have such amazing ladies to talk to about everything along the way.
As far as the timeline goes, we have completed all of our medical testing including psych evaluations and are waiting for clearance which we should pass with flying colors. We started this journey back in June and it has been a “hurry up and wait” process so far. So many things go into this that I never knew but they are all important steps!
We will keep blogging and updating everyone on here with the next steps of our journey and we are always open to answer questions and educate!
Any prayers and support are greatly appreciated! We are so excited to share this journey with you all!
Love,
Olivia & Ryan
The contracts are signed and Brooklyn and I are standing at the post office as I type this to mail it off to Pennsylvania!
Their bun, my oven. 